This will probably be the second part of a 2-4-1, connected with what happened this morning. I wrote that earlier part pretty well as it happened, just correcting it a bit for clarification, for me as well as for others. I needed a while to mull it over.
My first words are most important. I woke up trying to remember old words, but realized they weren’t all that important. As you know, I’ve pretty well left organized Christianity, in fact, doctrinally, I’m not a Christian at all. I know that Jesus of Nazareth was truly ‘of God’, but not exclusively so. I am trying to follow him, knowing that his Way was one of life and love. That’s enough for me.
I have found that much Christian dogma and tradition is in opposition to that of Jesus and feel that Christianity, in its present forms, is often a detriment to the world. I am doing my best to bring these things to light in the hopes that this might change. I do not expect to be successful but try to maintain hope for churches and humans in general.
So, yes, there are many words to forget. Many new words to share. This should not be surprising or heretical within Christianity, but it is. All churches claim to ‘believe in’ the Spirit of God, One who brings new Words and Understandings. But not really. Christ-ians mainly relegate the Spirit to a passive presence that encourages them to do nothing but believe in God’s power, and to be content to wait until God does everything for them. What a tragic shame. In Jewish scripture, She (God’s Spirit is always in the feminine.) changes, creates and challenges everything! She is definitely not welcome in most churches, being, by nature, very untraditional.
She brings light, love, joy, life. But not in merely the old ways. Churches, beware. Be aware. Open up and learn. And begin to live, again.
I needed so to be touched by Her. I love the church so much. Was born and raised within those traditions. It hurts to be so at odds, especially at Christmas time when many carols and traditions are opposite to God’s Truth. Last evening, in our usual Saturday sing-along, we sang so many Christmas songs that had traditionally terrible words. Maybe that was what triggered my awareness this morning. Most of us sing those wonderful songs, not thinking about the implications of the familiar and oft-sung words. My problem is, I know of the power of words. They really can cause the breaking of bones. And do.
It’s not only Christmas that brings this tension into focus. Several weeks ago, I led the worship service in two wonderful churches. I had forgotten just how much I enjoyed that connection and honour, and would be so glad to do so again. But even in the doing, I know that I am helping to perpetuate a lie, a system that assumes clergy to be God’s necessary elite. If they read this stuff, and still invite me back, perhaps we can be more honest with each other. I don’t know. I doubt if any more invites will come.
One thing that was apparent in yesterday’s ‘Word’ phase. As it became apparent that the limiting ‘song’ was the Church, in that new understanding, it was equally clear that there was still a place for Song in my life. I was not to do away with song, rather to add new words to it in a freer manner. That is good for me to remember and to act upon. It would be easier to just write churches off. I can’t do that. There are too many wonderful people, doing their best, even if within the limitations and erroneous confines of those traditions.
All for now. It’s enough to feel invigorated and upheld. And in-joy.
Anthony, singer, writer and disturber.
