April 15, 2023
Today is wonderful. Since my knee operation nearly six weeks ago, I’ve had more discomfort and pain than not. It’s completely controlled my life; simply no time or energy to do what my ‘soul’ needed. Survival was good enough. Today was different. I was comfortable enough to sit in my ‘office’ chair (amongst the clothes hanging in my closet) do some writing (this), and catch up on two months-worth of email garbage. How great it is!
But what about others who are experiencing chronic pain, knowing it will probably have no end? Even on my worst days, I knew that the present was temporary; knees do mend. The experience of those weeks made me wonder how long I would allow my life to be controlled and limited by pain if I knew there would be no other existence. How would I envision the balance between the value of my presence with friends and family, measuring it against what I was experiencing? How would I approach the topic of MAID with my loved ones? Would I suffer indefinitely, making the ‘most’ out of it and keeping it from others? Would I choose (only once is needed) to end my life in private, thus leaving others with heart-ache and guilt, as is so often the case? Or would I discuss this with those around me, something very difficult to do?
I try to reflect and learn from every experience. Because of these past weeks this Spring is even more glorious than most. Every day is a precious gift of life. But sometimes, gifts need to be refused. That is always an option. In this world of joy and pain, it is good to remind ourselves that there are those in pain, at every hand. Most of it is endured in silence, especially in our isolated, modern world. I hope we can all be more aware of those who are suffering, near and far, and support them in their choices of life and the ending of it.
Our days are offered to us as holy times. This is possible only if and when they are truly shared. Sometimes we need pain to remind us of the choices and wonder that surround us. Let us do this, choosing to grow in ways that most of our culture ignores.
For those who put up with me, a huge thanks. It’s so wonderful to be back to where I again have energy and ‘spirit’ to look outward and to share. Thank you, all.
Anthony
—
Anthony Gifford
118 Ford Street Kingston, ON K7K4Z6
Judy’s phone number 613 985 1029
anthonygifford42@gmail.com
